The beginning......

Hi there!

In July I will be starting my 18th year working as a 911 Emergency Telecommunicator (911 Dispatcher) for Columbia County, NY. This job has been a great job in so many ways, but unfortunately, there are several things that are NOT so good about it. Mainly - the sedentary lifestyle, the overnights for 10 years, hours of eating out of boredom and fatigue; all contributing to the large amount of weight I've gained (and lost and gained back again) in the last 17 years.

Let's go back to the beginning. I weighed about 8 lbs when I was born and was 22 inches long! Mom had no complications during pregnancy and from what I'm told, my birth was uneventful.

I was never a fat kid, but never super skinny either and all my young life I was taller than all the other kids. Because of that I was called "the jolly green giant" among many other not so pleasant names. Unfortunately, that did not help my self-esteem. Mom didn't give us treats very often and eating out was almost UNHEARD of. In those days, we didn't have the money for fast food. I don't recall overeating as my mother always portioned out our dinner plates. So, where did it begin?

In my junior year of high school I weighed 157 lbs and was 5'7". I was at my tallest AND my lightest. I was a little bit hippy, but the rest of my body was slender. I could see my collar bones and could feel my hip bones! NOW, I'm not even sure if I HAVE those bones anymore! :-) All through high school I played field hockey and softball, even winning most valuable player in field hockey in my junior year! So, I was active "back in the day".

My first time going to Weight Watchers was with my mother when I was between 17 and 18. I had lost 17 lbs between my sophomore and junior year in high school, but had put a few lbs back on. I think it was when I had senior lounge privileges which had a VENDING MACHINE!

Then, I graduated. That's when the partying and drinking started. Although I didn't regularly OVER imbibe, I had my share of alcohol and the snack foods and the calories that go with them. Now that I was on my own, I could eat whatever I wanted. I had a job working at the Grand Union in Valatie and could afford to snack all I wanted. Shortly after starting college, I moved out on my own. I lived on junk food and pasta!

I've continued that trend all through my life adding “over eating” to my list of bad eating habits. I’m a self-proclaimed “couch potato”. Mmmm….potatoes, oh! Sorry – I think about food all the time. I LOVE TO EAT. I love to cook, too and that doesn’t help. What is even worse, currently going through money issues lately, I can’t afford to eat and cook healthy like I’d like to. Good, fresh and healthy food is very expensive and on a tight budget it’s not a wonder that it’s difficult to eat better.

When I graduated high school in 1979 I weighed about 165 lbs. I knew that I was getting “hippier” but still felt rather slim and attractive. I went to college for a year and then spent 6 months in Florida after breaking up with the same guy for the umpteenth time over a 4 year period. By the time I was married and pregnant with my son, I weighed 190 lbs. At 9 months pregnant I weighed almost 230 lbs. For many years, I bounced back and forth from 205 to 250 lbs. During that time I worked in a few diners and then as a secretary at our county’s district attorney’s office. Both jobs kept me active and although at the restaurant I ate pretty much whatever I wanted, I still kept the weight under 250. Even after my divorce, I didn’t balloon much more.

In 1995 I started working at 911 and I weighed about 225 lbs. I had the night shift – 7pm to 7am. I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner there. I was very content in my job. Unfortunately, the night shift was very, very slow. So, to keep myself from being bored out of my mind, I brought lots of food to work with me. Snacking kept me awake. That and a 2 liter bottle of Diet Pepsi each night. In much less than 17 years I’ve put on so much weight that I now weigh….are you ready?…..326 lbs! I’ve gained over 100 lbs (and then some once you factor in the yo-yo dieting) since I started this job. That’s a whole person heavier. My work pants are a men’s 52. You can’t get the size I need in women’s. Thankfully, we wear uniforms, so I no matter how I try, I wouldn’t look “lovely” and feminine anyway! :-) My regular blouse/shirts are size 4x, my jeans are 28 and my dress size (who wears dresses – not ME - would be size 28). I hate buying new clothing, so most of my clothes are cheap things from Wal-Mart and never fit right. Oh, and did you know that fat people have super long arms? And very short torsos? I have NO idea who comes up with this stuff.

I’ve tried so many different diets over the years – Weight Watchers – the old and the new, low calorie, low fat, Atkins, South Beach, Susan Powter, Richard Simmons, grapefruit diet, cabbage diet – I’ve done the shake diets. I’ve tried just cutting back and feeling like I’m starving and nothing ever works for any length of time. I do know that eating healthy and maintaining portion control and exercise most likely WILL work, but I’ve lost any kind of will power. Let’s face it; I’ve been yo-yo dieting for the last 30+ years. It’s not healthy. I’ve even tried NOT dieting and just eating without worrying. Guess what? THAT didn’t work either! Go figure! :-)

I work 12 hours shifts without taking a break 7 out of 14 days. My job is stressful in so many ways, just by the nature of the job. Most days I go home exhausted after having dealt with real emergencies and not so real. There is a constant pressure even when it’s not busy. What’s the next call going to be? Will I remember all the protocols that change daily sometimes? I can’t make a mistake; people are depending on me to tell them what to do!

I love, love, love to eat! The more butter, bacon and garlic I can put on my food the happier I am. I’m not a big sweets eater, but I do like them. My biggest problem is carbs - white carbs – pasta and bread! Can’t get enough! I can eat a whole pound of spaghetti by myself. I will usually be sick and unable to breathe, but that doesn’t stop me! I love Chinese food, Italian food, pizza & wings and the foot long subs at Subway! After my 3 day weekend of working 12 hour shifts each day I usually “reward” myself with some type of takeout! I think about it for hours, planning what I’ll eat. When I get home from work on other nights, if I haven’t gotten take out or if nothing else is made for dinner already, I’m content with at least ½ lb of spaghetti with butter and parmesan cheese. YUM.

My activity level has diminished to mostly doing nothing but sitting for long periods of time in front of the computers at work and the computer or TV at home. Like a big lump. I have high blood pressure, GERD, severe sleep apnea, anxiety, depression and degenerative disc disease in my low back. My hands go numb at night while I’m sleeping and during the day when I use the phone. I have tension in my back and neck at all times. Right now I’m seeing a physical therapist to take the edge off. I’ll be going to see a neurologist to do nerve testing in my neck and shoulders to see what’s causing the numbness and tingling. If I keep going on like this, I will end up with diabetes and heart disease, both of which run rampant in my family. I’m tired I would like to live to see my son get married and have children.

It’s time to do something different and drastic.

Stay tuned…….